


Office party

by fresne



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Podfic Available, Underworld Office Party, Yuletide, Yuletide 2010
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-12-24
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-10-14 01:41:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/143966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fresne/pseuds/fresne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hades wanted to cross his arms and tell the party to come back to life. But that never worked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rosencrantz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosencrantz/gifts).



> Yuletide treat
> 
>  
> 
> [podfic](http://audiofic.jinjurly.com/office-part)

“Hades, Ninja-Assassin.” Hecate pointed and laughed. She pointed and laughed and clutched her stomach until she fell over backward and hit her head on the desk.

Hades was not ashamed to say that he smiled.

She rubbed her head and sat up. “You look ridiculous.”

Hades looked down. He always wore all black. He said, “I always wear all black.”

Hacate held up her lamp and dragged him over to the mirror behind the door. She said, “Look.”

Hades looked. Black pants. Black shoes. Black shirt. His black helm tilted back on his head. He didn’t have it down, lest he disappear. He said, “What?”

Hecate held up her hands and said, “Gah! And I say that as the goddess of the crossroads.” She turned away. She put a red windflower in his lapel and handed him a comedic Sisyphus tie. “Put this on.”

Hades sighed and put on the tie. It was only then that Hecate would let him go to the Solstice party. Not that Solstice meant much in the underworld, but everyone worked hard. They needed a break.

As they came into the ballroom, Hecate yelled, “Chthonic-Zeus, Thanatos is at the punch. Everyone stand back.”

Thanatos wandered aimlessly around the room. He held a cup in one bony hand. He yelled, “Come on ladies. Sex and death. Come and get it.” He splashed the Erinyes with punch. Sickly sweet. It smelled like licorice and wild berries.

Hades wondered why Thanatos couldn’t get drunk on good wine like a normal anthropomorphic representation of an idea.

Megaera wiped at the dark stain on her red dress that dripped with the blood of the guilty. Alecto grinned. Tisiphone said, “You are paying our dry cleaning bill,” in a tone of voice that could (and had on memorable occasions) flay flesh from the bones of the living. Not a problem at this party.

Fortunately, they left it at that and stalked off. Thanatos said, “Whuh, whu, what?” He spread his arms. “Why doesn’t anyone like me.” He sniffed and went back to hover over the punch bowl.

Hades made the rounds.

He found his judges at one of the back tables under a paper lamp. Minos held his arms wide. “And then he said, ‘So I thought if I walked a mile in his shoes, I’d have his shoes and be a mile away.’ and he expected me to go for it.”

Rhadamanthus leaned forward. “Seriously.“

Aeacus said, “Oh no he didn’t. Not the mile in his shoes defense.”

Hades leaned down to them. He said, “Hey, um, you don’t have to talk about work.”

They stared at him. He went back to mingling. Oh, yeah mingling. He loved the mingling.

Chiron had his feet on a table and slipped treats down to Cerberus. So the food was a success too then. Great. Hypnos lay sprawled next to Chiron completely asleep.

Hades wanted to cross his arms and tell the party to come back to life. But that never worked.

The lights flickered. Lowered. The music changed. It sounded young. Full of life and movement. Hades turned. Persephone stood behind a card table. She’d hooked up several very complicated looking somethings into some speakers. She said, “I’m not here. I‘m at a different party.”

And it was.

Quite possibly the best Solstice party that they’d ever had. Although, Hades wasn’t sure that he’d be able to look at the Erinyes the same way ever again.


	2. [podcast] Office Party

OfficeParty "Length: Mp3, 2.2Mb,  4:44  
Music Credit: Portion of Oingo Boingo, ""Dead Man's Party""" 

[Archived here](http://audiofic.jinjurly.com/office-party)

**Author's Note:**

> If after reading my fiction here, you would like to read more about me and my writing check out my profile.


End file.
